Why my name always up in your mouth.

LAUGH MY FUCKING ASS OFF!
Pathetic much? Another rumour. Oh they do crack me up.
I'm going to have the best time ever when, in ten years or so, I'm a bigger success than any of them could ever even dream of. I'll just laugh in there faces and what will they be able to do about it, nothing because by then I will be superior to them in society.
I'm going to be a success, you keep promoting my name my darlings, you may make it that tiny bit harder, but then it'll just be that bit more rewarding in the end.
Dick'eds.

I had the most amazing night training with Arlesey Ladies.
I'm knackered now though so night. xx

"Depression isn't a sign of weakness, but an indication that you've been trying to be too strong for far too long".

Billy Jean was not his lover, of course she wasn't she has a vagina.

I'm so surprised I'm still up.
I haven't drank coke all day, it's been the longest day of my life. I really want a bottle of coke.
But instead I've been drinking water fml.
Oh but I've spent the whole night listening to Jon Lajoie :'). He's actually my idol :').
And then tomorrow I'm seeing how long I can last without facebook, I like to torture myself.

OOOH and for my birthday my sisters are buying me a Jon Lajoie, show me your genitals tshirt. LOVE! ha.
Anywho, night xxx

I know I'm lost but I'm waiting to be found.

I'm fed up of trying to read you so I'm taking my own advice and just getting on focusing on my exams and just going to keep chatting to loads of new people to occupy my mind. Me thinks it should work.

Righty so I've decided tomorrow I'm going to start giving up coke, maybe slowly working my way off it, but I think this is going to be extremely good for me. Man it's going to be hard, ha, I'll keep you posted ;).

Oh and last point, if you are reading this please do not ask me how my knees are anymore. It's not going to magically disappear and being asked every fucking day just reminds me how useless I am, so stop pretty please, thank you.

That's all, ciao x

No body said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard.

I don't understand, all I know is I miss talking to you the way we were.
Quit confusing me now? Thanks.

Dear Becky.

I thought it was time I checked in again baby. See I decided I'm going to make this a regular thing, after all no one knows you better than me, that little voice in your head. I'm sorry I've made the wrong decision about him, I did think that would work, I'm sorry it hasn't, but you'll get there baby, I'm certain of it.

I know since my last letter not everything has gone to plan and some of the choices you've made have made you feel stupid or like you don't deserve to be here, but baby don't focus on them, they don't matter the only thing that matters is what you do in the future, to learn from the mistakes. 

I know you've learnt from your old ones. Remember when you didn't ever respect yourself, well clearly you've proved you do now. I'm so proud of you for telling that cunt where to stick it, believe me I am. And I know your best friend is too and if your mother knew, I'm certain she'd be more than proud of you. Now you've just got to continue to make her proud, she deserves it, you deserve it.

I know your going the right way about things what with the volunteering and thinking about your future but baby try that little bit harder and everything will be that little bit better, one hundred and ten percent okay. Maybe in doing this think about resting for a bit, you're not superwoman, you do want to be able to walk in a years time right? Just think, screw your head on.

I didn't write this to nag, I wrote it to tell you to keep your head up because at the moment you seem to be letting it slip and it doesn't need to. You're an amazing person baby and I for one am extremely proud of you. Keep shining, you'll get there, I know it.

Love, your alter ego, Rebekah.

Oh and baby, don't ever ever even think about that. I know the little thrill you got there, just stop, who's that going to help really? Idiot.

no matter what I do.

It's amazing how I want to blog but the only thing I can't write about is that. Everything else I want to write about, I blank, it just doesn't matter like that does.


Oh and yesterday was the 20th of April, I bet you don't even remember that date do you?


You win.
You still have it.
You always have had it.
Break it again, I dare you.

After all the things we've been through.

Mmm so I can't even talk about that on here. And the more I push it to the back of my mind the more you bring it up, fantastic (y).
Lying to myself and everyone else, that's always great.

I also don't want to write about you either, because well it scares me and I don't even think you like talking to me so yanno, a point there, I do not see one.

Wow for once I don't have anything more to say. I can't even trust writing my shit on here anymore.
Oh the fun.
Goodbye.

oh dear.

No. No. No. No. No. No. 
Stop it.
Stop making me smile so much. Stop being there and just making me laugh.
Stop just having your silly name there and making me smile.
This isn't good.
Stop it.
I can't. I won't. I don't want to.


s/lfjkxbnxol vp. ;/.

I'm happy though, that's good :).

my knees, they hurt.

Hmmmm, I have this ridiculous smile on my face.
Thanks, really awesome guy that bought me a drink ;)(L).

This ain't a love song this is goodbye.

EEEEE I love love love love love talking to you!
I shouldn't. No I really shouldn't. I especially shouldn't sit here in your jumper and talk to you with the biggest smile on my face cause right now you're one of the few people that makes me completely forget about talking to him, ha.
Can't wait for Friday now, best come out or I won't be happs you ;).
Ahhh ;'D.

So tonight was amazing, I love them lot too ha.
Tomorrow physio and then seeing my Randz. EEEE I love holidays ;'D.

Happy Becky me thinks.

For now I spend the rest of the night avec my best friend :). Lucky me ;'D.

Why oh why.

"Why is it whenever I've been drinking, I always end up taking my clothes off ;/".
So today I was asking myself this, yet again.
Paha and it was you that made it happen. We're hardly, actually no wait, we're basically not talking and yet some how you get me out of my clothes. But this time not trying to use me for sex but because you thought it'd be funny if we all played strip blackjack. Argh you're just a cunt ha. Mind my language. Actually no don't, it's okay because you deserve it. Walking around like I'm the one that's done wrong, never replying to my texts if I send them. Only responding to me in person if I say something first and then you'll be short. So yeah, when I'm rude to you, don't go giving me some death stares, you deserve all that's coming your way you prick.
On a better note tonight was good times.
Infact since thursday has been amazing times.
All the time with my sisters and nephews and daddys, EEEEE. And and and we went to the farm today! YAY! I love the farm, I was more excited than Kai was ha.
I love my Kai and he cried when he left me, nawrrr bless him. I better see him soon or I'll die.
Speaking of people I best see soon or I'll die. I miss Rachael and Sally. It's been far too long.
Rachael if you're reading this, ring me in the morning? Ha.

I can't wait for the rest of Easter but for now good night ;).

You don't wanna see road rage ;)

oh hai gorgeous :).
So yesterday was an amazing day, apart from feeling ill of course, ha. I got to speak to my Kai pie on the phone, he's adorable and then gym and dance. Oh dear that was kind of, absolutely amazing! I kinda fucked up a bit but  I managed to fix it ;) And playing phone book roulette and just running around taking random photo's with the most random people, ahh I love my friends.

Today despite of illness I am extremely happy. EEE I shouldn't like talking to you as much as I do should I? Ha oh well. Actually cannot wait for tonight, going to be good times :').
Then tomorrow until Tuesday with the daddy, sisters and nephews (L).
Wednesday skins party.
And the rest of Easter, it just all equals, YAYAYAYAYAY ;).

Anyhow, chow for now ;).