when you lose something you can't replace.

Hmmm okay so today really made things hit home. I miss you.
There's no other way to put it.
Times like now when I don't get a good night text. Or waking up in the morning to nothing.
See I'm so used to being woken up by a text now I just automatically wake up around the time you used to send them, only to sit there for ten minutes then realise and crawl back under the covers not wanting to move any more.
And I've been texting tonnes of people to try and keep my hands busy and fill in that void, but it doesn't work, they're not you. No one is, it's not the same, in the slightest. 
I don't get this. Today when you sat next to me, yeah to start with that was a bit awkward but then you started joking with me like you used to and then in P.E it was the same mostly, you don't want to stop behaving like that with me, and I don't you, so why are we doing this? I don't understand. The trust thing, I do trust you, more than anyone. I promise. 
I don't care if we don't go there again, okay actually that's a lie, but actually mostly I just want to talk to you. 
You became like my closest friend, I spoke to you from when I woke up to when I went to sleep and now nothing at all. It hurts so bad.
I know in front of people I act like I don't care, but you of all people know that's just my act. They can't know I fail at being happy, you can't know to be honest, but you do, 'cause you're the only one who understood me. You get why I do it, because you do it too. You knew me more than anyone. 
I guess it's like I almost need you?
Ha look at me, I'm so pathetic.


Hmm so yeah basically today I realised I miss you, a hell of a lot, especially talking to you.
Just come back, it'll be different, I promise you.
;/.




Ha. Every one reading this now things I need to get a grip.
I agree, I'm pathetic.
Fuck this, night.